Dear Sony, you were first with the waterproof smartphone, so I’m pitching this to you first!
… in an open letter.
I’m 24 years old, so the newfound interest in my body that I acquired as a teenager has slightly worn off. This means I’m often bored when I go to the bathroom, which in turn means I bring my smartphone along. This is great when I’m sitting, but it doesn’t work when I’m showering because I kinda need my hands for soap and.. you know.. showering.
This brings me to something I’d like you to
invent re-invent called the…
A Tablet for Your
- Facebook: Must be able to use Facebook because.. what is 5 minutes of boredom without Facebook?
- Netflix: Must be able to show Netflix in HD because.. well same as above.. I believe you can get away with both, by just running Android-some on it and let “Google Play” do the rest..
- A Webcam? – no! I’m in the shower, and we all know that NSA is just going to be watching, so I don’t even want the option.. put a bandate over it?.. in a wet environment?? it’s going to fall off; I don’t want it!
- A Microphone? – no!? I’m in the shower!.. same argument as above. – No, you don’t need to answer a Skype-call from your bathroom! It’s disgusting; watch Netflix!
- Display Size: something like 10” will do fine.. You can make more models, I wont judge.
- Waterproof: well duh.. It’s gonna reside in my shower.
- Wi-Fi: Must connect to WiFi.. (this should probably have been the first one..)
- Speakers: because you know.. Netflix (.. also a great place of hiding secret microphones for the NSA.)
Please don’t put like octo-core processors and 20 hours of battery life in it… It’s supposed to be inexpensive, because I’ll probably buy two and put one up opposing my toilet.. and it’s only supposed to run for like.. even my girlfriend (read: visiting relatives) can only shower for a couple of hours..
- A Headset: … because folks are obviously going to complain over why they’re not able to use Skype while they’re on the john.. “it runs Android, why can’t I make calls!?, I want to use it on my boat as well! It should have 4G!!”… (MAKE YOUR OWN OPEN LETTER TO SONY!)
- A Wall Mount: … beacuse you know… the “no-hands” thing I mentioned earlier.
- Rubberduck Dispenser: .. okay this might not have been such an obvious one.. but I can’t think of a reason why this wouldn’t be cool to have.
Now Sony, I know that product development takes quite a while, but I assure you I won’t stop showering anytime soon, (people get angry,) which means you actually do have quite a while to get the Bathlet done! (you can already hear how it’s catching on.)
Nicolaj ‘Bored in the Shower’ Figaw.
Edit: Yes, I know I’m not 24 anymore, but I wrote this ages ago, and I had it lying around as a draft, because I wanted to do a couple of funny drawings, but I never got around to it, so now I’m just releasing it.